Searching

Poetry and other random thoughts from a wandering mind and a searching heart!


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Authenticity


Tears are running down my cheeks
Heart is broken
No words to speak
Stretched myself to honor a friend
Aware the night held potential for pain
I was not surprised when the moment came
I took the steps to protect my heart
Refusing to pretend, to play a part
Now I am the villain
How can that be?
They abuse me and I am to blame
But I will stand my ground and I will not be shamed
I cannot play this nonsensical game.
Love me or leave me
But don’t pretend
I don’t need your fake gestures
I need real friends.


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Sometimes


Sometimes life seems fragile

And emotions flow like a stream

Sometimes your heart feels broken

And you regret the words you have spoken

Sometimes the tears don’t come

But the burden feels so great

Sometimes the hurt won’t heal

And you find it hard to wait

Sometimes mistakes break the chain

Causing so much pain

Sometimes the sadness lingers

Till you know you are loved again!

 


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When it all goes wrong..


Empty, nothing in my hand
Broken, my heart on the ground in pieces
Still, nothing is right and the world has stopped
Tears, pain that cannot be contained, flowing from my eyes and down my cheeks
Empty, broken, still
Here I stand, all alone and filled with pain
Longing for answers, looking for hope
Fighting the fears,
Paralyzed,  I stop to sit
In the only place that can bring relief
Palms, turned up, asking to be filled
Eyes,  lifted
It is my savior I  seek
I stop
I wait
I listen
Waiting for Him to speak
to fill
to heal
And in the silence He comes to me
He wraps me in his love and reminds me of his care
Bringing peace and healing.
Speaking words of comfort
Reminders of His grace
Filling my heart with hope again
and strength to run the race.


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The Heart’s Rain


All alone she sat across the room, quiet and busy

Seemingly in a world all her own

No one even noticed….

….And then there it was

It was small and went unnoticed

But it wasn’t alone…

It was followed by first one, then another…

And soon there were many

What was it that brought tears to her eyes?

What was it that made warm salty drops fall like rain?

Loneliness, hurt, sadness, sorrow?

No one could say for sure

But as surely as night follows day came the questions

Empty, shallow questions—not of concern but curiosty

Those who had passed her by a hundred times or more

Now stopped to inquire

“What’s wrong..can I help?

The tears stopped

The questions went unanswered

And once again she smiled

And who will ever know why the rains came?


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Whatcha gonna do


The load is too heavy

My strength is all gone

I am so far past weary

I don’t want to go on

My cheeks are wet with

the tears I cry.

I find little reason to

Continue to try.

 

Tomorrow will come

Whether I bid it or not

And I will rise to meet

the day and pray the God

will show me the way!