Searching

Poetry and other random thoughts from a wandering mind and a searching heart!


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Grief you are a monster


Drowning in this river
Tear drops flowing down
Voices screaming in my head
Silence all around
Waves of anger
Oceans of despair
Ragged edges of puzzle pieces that don’t fit anywhere
Walking in a stupor
Going round and round
On the edge of crazy
Slowly sinking down

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Can you hear me?


Can you hear me?
Do you see?
Will you sit in the dirt with me?
Even if you don’t understand,
Can you offer your presence?
Will you be my friend?
Can you save your lectures,
Your miracle fix?

Can you let me weep
And acknowledge my pain?
Can you come back tomorrow if I feel the same?
Can you hear me?
Do you see?
Will you sit in the dirt with me?


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Forever


My heart is broken

My grief is deep

I am drowning in the tears I weep

Darkness penetrates where light should be

I lost something precious to me

Questions linger

Sadness reigns

I do not know how to deal with the pain

Never planned to be here again

Promises broken

Trust destroyed

 

“Forever is from now till someone changes their mind”

 

 


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Change


It has been a year of loss and pain and sadness
It has been a time that left me broken and beaten and alone
I have slept and cried and tried to escape
I am changed
And it is time for change
I do not know what that means yet
Just that I cannot continue as I have before
Everything is different
My days feel more numbered
And I do not wish to pretend
To accept that which I do not want
To not live making a difference
It is time for change
God calls me to be still
To listen
To wait
It is time for change….