Grief you are a monster

Drowning in this river
Tear drops flowing down
Voices screaming in my head
Silence all around
Waves of anger
Oceans of despair
Ragged edges of puzzle pieces that don’t fit anywhere
Walking in a stupor
Going round and round
On the edge of crazy
Slowly sinking down

Repetition..

When the second verse is the same as the first

When the pain is always the same

When you never quite get over the mountain

Cause near the top, it always starts to rain

When you can’t quite see through the tears in your eyes

When the road comes to an end

When you find you fought but did not win

When you have given your all

And it’s not enough

When everything seems unclear

When it feels like you lost,  all that you held dear

When you know you’re to blame

And it can’t be fixed

When there is no place else to go

When you’ve run into the same brick wall

And still haven’t learned it hurts

When there is no way forward

And no way back

You welcome the darkness again….

 

NOT a good Friday

Today is the day that Christians celebrate “Good Friday”.  All over the world our eyes are turned upward and our hearts tuned into a period of time that changed the world forever.  But on that day so long ago, this was not a “good” Friday.  What had begun as a triumphal entry and a shared meal with those closest to him, had turned into arrest, betrayal, torture and death.  Those that loved him would not have seen anything good about this day.  The sky turned dark, hearts were broken, hopes were shattered and dreams died as the one who had come to bring light and goodness and healing died on a cross.  No, it was not a good Friday.  They did not have the gift of time, distance and history to show them what we know and so for them it was a time of darkness, despair, confusion, grief and discouragement.  They did not know Sunday was coming and that darkness would be turned to light, hearts would be filled with joy, and a new hope, a new dream would rise out of all the despair.  Without that very bad Friday there would never have been the glorious Sunday!  We have the luxury of looking back and understanding that the event that was their deepest sorrow was necessary to provide the unspeakable joy that His resurrection brought.

Perhaps today you sit in a place of darkness, of despair, of pain or loss.  Perhaps you have lost hope and today is a very bad day for you.   Whatever the burden you bear today, remember that beyond the pain, the sorrow, the darkness there is hope and light and joy.  Sometimes we have to have a bad Friday to have a fantastic Sunday.   Sometimes the value of our suffering can only be seen through the lenses of time… but do not lose hope.  What you see today is not all there is…and it is not the end of the story!