Searching

Poetry and other random thoughts from a wandering mind and a searching heart!


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The friend who stays….


I needed you

But I would not say the words that would draw you near

Instead I built walls, walls so tall

And I tried to drive you away

I rejected your attempts to draw me out

I sat silent, alone and afraid

I wanted you to go away

I feared that if I let you in

You’d see my hurt, my shame, my sin

It was easier to push you away

Than to risk the chance you would not stay

All bound up behind my walls

Sinking downward

In a free fall

Blinded by lies and unspeakable pain

Darkness ensuing

Nothing to gain…

Finding no hope

At the end of the rope

Lost inside the walls I created

Walls built to keep me safe

But suddenly I looked to see

You sitting there, right beside me

Undaunted by my sturdy walls

You listened to my silent call

And led by love

You came along side

And assured me you were there to stay

You refused to let me push you away

And I found myself grateful you’d stayed

That you heard the words I could not say

Encouraged by your persistent love

I find the strength to try again.


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Invisible


I looked around but I could not see anybody looking back at me

So I raised my voice to make a sound but it reached the rafters and bounced back down

People around me everywhere but it was as if I wasn’t there

I wandered through the crowds, heard their laughter ring

Conversations flowed and hugs did abound

I just kept wandering around

I saw them but did they see me?

Or am I as invisible to them as it feels to me?